And here I thought we'd missed it. I'd seen all the blog posts about the illness and contagion oozing its way across the states so I sacrificed a goat , burned my incense (all metaphorically, of course), and I thought we had missed it. You know what they say about counting chickens... boo.
Queue a 103.5 fever, snot like I have never seen (and hope to never see again), croupy cough, aaaand barf. My poor Sprinks went down for the count and Mommy got a flu-cation. It's not like a vacation AT ALL but saying "flu-cation" makes me feel better about it. I hate when my babies are sick...
I learned many things while on my 2 day journey of Uncensored and Unstoppable Baby Orifice Self-Expression. Things like:
1. Boogers are like Tribbles. Endlessly multiplying and in everything. I was totally a red shirt...
2. Dinosaur chicken nuggets are INFINITELY more appetizing than the regular ones. The regular ones will get you screamed at.
3. Children's Ibuprofen should come with a hip-flask of "medication" for Mommy. I'm just saying, oh holy makers of Advil and Children's Motrin...
4. All toys are sucky and boring when you are sick, but the breakables in the one cabinet in the kitchen that you have ignored for 6 months are the bees knees.
5. I can no longer watch whatever I want in front of Sprinks. She totally got Twilight and would point at the screen and say "Doggie" while clapping and laughing every time she saw a werewolf.
6. My baby is on Team Jacob.
7. 3 out of the 5 "Yo Gabba Gabba" creatures look like sex toys.
8. I hate "Franklin and Friends" almost as much as I hate Caillou.
9. Don't leave vomit laundry unattended with dogs around. It's like drunk sex with an ex... no one will be able to make eye contact later. *shudder* What was I THINKING?
10. Flu poop should be classified as "cruel and unusually stink punishment". Get on that Pentagon. It had our Diaper Genie begging for mercy in no less than 26 seconds.
But now we have emerged, blinking and stinking, on the other side with the bright rays of an un-predigested sun shining down upon our grateful faces. Until Sass gets it, of course... boo two.